


for now

by in_the_clouds



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24569053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_the_clouds/pseuds/in_the_clouds
Summary: a little story told through the lyrics of For Now by LAUV
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 5
Kudos: 120





	for now

**Author's Note:**

> Not every single lyric is in here. I've left out some repeating lyrics. This is my very first fanfiction, ever. I also typed this up at 2 in the morning and I may have missed some mistakes. Thank you for reading, and please be nice. :)

**I send you pictures all the time**

**Of our friends when they're too drunk and telling stories**

_Christen has sent you a message._

Tobin picks up her phone and pauses the tv. The video she sees stops her short and she doesn’t attempt to hide her laugh in her empty apartment. It’s Kelley and Becky, the former drunk out of her mind and stumbling onto the stage in what Tobin guesses is an attempt to sing some karaoke. Becky looks nothing short of concerned, but the amused look in her eyes shows a different story. Behind the camera is Christen’s soft laughter, which sends Tobin’s heart racing. 

“I miss you, so much,” accompanies the video, and Tobin fights tears back. She misses her girlfriend so much. The last hug they shared at the airport was too short. That was months ago, and she yearns for contact again.

“I miss you too, baby,” she types back. 

Tobin replays the video and she wishes she were with them. It’s been too long, and though Lindsey is always great company, there is something different when she’s with other teammates. When Tobin goes to bed that night, she lays in the empty spot that is otherwise occupied by Christen, and she falls asleep to memories of her.

**I keep you right here in my brain**

**Even when we're waking up in different cities**

When Christen wakes up, it’s 6:00am. The first thought is her girlfriend, currently asleep for a few more hours, in Portland. Utah is great, but it’s missing one special person that only gets the chance to be here for a couple games a year. Even then, there are other things that take priority, such as the game in which they are supposed to be opponents. There is no time to travel the city or go on special little dates that include only the two of them. 

Yeah, that’s what Christen thinks is the worst thing about Utah. Christen gets out of bed and takes her yoga mat, rolling it open on the living room floor of her apartment. As she sits down and prepares to begin her daily meditation, she can't help but think about how she wishes she were in the living room with the Nintendo Switch next to the tv and a worn down soccer ball in the corner. 

She wishes she was sitting across one of Tobin’s paintings hanging on the wall and she wishes she could open her eyes and see her and Tobin’s favorite blanket sitting on the couch that both of them used to snuggle in when watching Game of Thrones together. 

Even when they’re miles apart, Christen misses Tobin. She misses making an extra cup of coffee and buying an extra pastry from the little shop across from the apartment. She misses the feeling of Tobin’s arm slung around her waist and her sleepy, rough voice saying “Five more minutes, Chris.” She misses the date nights and the takeout. She misses stealing the hat from Tobin’s head and smiling for her when Tobin pulls out her phone and takes a picture, something about “saving the moment.”

**I know it's hard to feel so close to someone that's so far away**

**But for now, I'll love you through the phone**

“Hey baby,” Tobin’s sleepy voice cuts across the silence in Christen’s room.

“Hi,” Christen nearly whispers through the phone. She hasn’t heard her favorite person speak in over a week, and she would’ve lost it if she had to wait one more day. It’s officially the playoffs, and both the Thorns and the Royals were being tested to the limits in two practices a day and new drills being hammered into both their heads. 

They stare at each other across the screen. Tobin’s hair is messy and she has a loose t-shirt on. Christen’s curly hair is swept to the side and she looks like she could pass out from exhaustion at any second. Being awake for hours doesn’t keep the lovers from talking to each other. 

“How was practice?” Tobin’s on her stomach, and faint voices can be heard from the tv.

“It was okay, I’m sore and tired,” is what Tobin can hear from her phone.

They make more conversation, until there is a moment of silence, and Tobin can hear Christen’s breathing even out. When Tobin tells a seemingly asleep Christen of how much she loves and misses her, she fails to see the small smile from Christen and the tear slipping from her eye.

**In the shadow of the moon**

**Found the memory of that night we were in Portland**

**Or the moment I told you**

**That no matter where we are, you're still my best friend**

“You know you’re my best friend right? No matter where we are,” Tobin says. To say Christen was expecting that is an understatement. They’re sitting on the balcony of Tobin’s apartment, and Tobin is nursing a beer in her hand while Christen is almost through her glass of wine.

“I know, Tobin, but why’re you telling me this?” Christen looks over at Tobin. What she sees surprises her. Tobin looks nervous, scared, even. She’s fidgeting with her bottle and looking out into the city instead of at Christen.

“Because, I want to tell you something and I want to make sure you know that what I’m about to say won’t change our friendship if you don’t feel the same,” Tobin mumbles.

“Feel the same? What- What’re you trying to say, Tobin?” Christen’s heart is racing, and if it’s anything that Christen thinks it is, she’s going to have a panic attack.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Tobin whispers through the honks and beeps of cars below, on the busy Portland road. Christen is silent for a few minutes, and Tobin knows that she’s definitely fucked up. She begins to stammer something that resembles an apology and she stands up so she can go to her room for the night. Tears are threatening to escape her eyes and Tobin cannot for the life of her let Christen see her crying. As she walks past Christen’s chair, a hand reaches out and grabs her wrist, effectively keeping her from leaving.

“Look, Chris, I know you don’t feel the same, so can we please just forget this happened? Nothing needs to change, and we can still be friends, you don’t have to-” A pair of lips meets Tobin’s and cut her off from her mini rant. Hands reach up to cup her face, and two thumbs brush away tears that have since rolled down Tobin’s face.

When they pull apart, Christen rests her forehead on Tobin’s, and Tobin stares into the green gray eyes that are staring right back at her. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say something,” Christen smiles, and she even laughs a little, something that makes Tobin’s already racing heart flutter.

**And next time that I see you I'll make sure you never leave**

**But for now, just come home to me**

Tobin is at the airport. She’s nervous and her hands are clammy. She hasn’t been paying attention to the signs and curses when she goes to the wrong place. Christen is coming back to Portland after several months away. Tobin doesn’t know why she’s so nervous. She’s picked her girlfriend up from the airport so many times that she doesn't have enough fingers to count them. 

She reaches the area she's supposed to meet Christen, and she checks the time. _She should have landed by now._ When Tobin sees a flood of people coming out of the door marked arrivals, her heart starts racing. The people rushing past her have found other family members, and she can see people hug their family for the first time in what she assumes is a while.

Tobin looks down and checks her phone. Maybe Christen had texted her something new besides the gate information and the time. What she didn’t notice was the pair of shoes standing in front of her and her curly haired girlfriend smiling at her.

When Christen clears her throat, Tobin looks up, and it’s like her heart has fallen out of her chest. She rushes to Christen and hugs her, and she can hear the wind being knocked out of her girlfriend. They hug for what feels like the longest time in the middle of the crowded airport. They don’t even care if anyone catches them or sneaks a picture. Christen is home. Tobin’s in the arms of her favorite person in the entire world, and she doesn’t even notice her own tears falling down her cheeks. Tobin presses her face into Christen’s neck, and she takes a breath. She smells vanilla and fabric softener and the smell unique to Christen and she never wants to let go. She feels as though a part of her that’s been missing is back, slotted in the empty spot that’s been empty since Christen left the very same airport they’re standing in. 

That night, they both fall into bed and don’t let each other go until they separate to get breakfast in the morning. They’re both home.


End file.
